Thursday, October 30, 2008

Muslim should not practise yoga.


Because yoga practioners are devionist and will stray away from their "holy" path and risk turning into a fakir, and forever condemned to hell.

That's what the "Hole-y Muslim Organization in Malaysia" said.
Upon researching the internet, I found strong evidence which concurs with the warning issued by them. The following photos will support my findings, and it will also shows the result should one indulge in such pratises regularly, especially Malaysian Muslims.

Photo 1
A yoga pose which claimed that can elevate oneself into becoming Manasa, Hindu Snake God.
Almost 99.9999% of the people in goverment sector do this pose at least twice a week, 1 hour for each session.

The result?

Each and everyone of them are turning into snakes. You can tell this from their productivity and efficiency of work. Snake here, snake there, and snake everywhere!
For those which have attained a higher level in yoga, they have the ability to cast their magic and have you vomit blood just by talking to them.

Photo 2
A photo depicting a devious yoga practioner imitating as a Lord Buddha.
One may argue that the stance made the practioner looks like sleeping, but actually they are in the midst of attaining the highest reward; attaining Nirvana. There were rumours that our current Prime Minister practises this everyday, and there were photos taken of him in such similar stance (sleeping Buddha stance)

The result?

Due to constant practises, our Prime Minister has managed to attained the highest level, and he is destined to heading to Nirvana by next March, by retiring in peace and finding his own solace.

Photo 3

A yoga practioner praying and asking for blessing or forgiveness from Apollo, the Sun God.
This stance is a favourite among the politicians. One can see them in such stance whenever they are near to the Prime Minister, or a Very Very Important Person. You may even see one doing this when they have committed great sins, but you can only see them doing this in front of the Prime Minister, or a Very Very Important Person.

The result?

You can see that politicians get scots-free even after committing grave sins (inciting racial riots, pocketting bribes, C4-ing people, extra-marital affair, etc) or in reward, getting Tun-ship/TanSri-ship/Datuk-ship, bagging millions dollar of goverment contracts, etc

Photo 4

A stance praising the Sea God, Poseidon.
It was reported that Malaysian fishermen practise this every morning before they go out to sea. They claimed that by doing this stance 1 hour each day, good luck will befall onto those who rigorlously practise this and lots of sea catch will follow suit.

The result?

Lots of money are flowing oversea, especially after the last general election. Rumours were said that billions of ringgit were transfered from Malaysia ever since then.

Photo 5

A position which is a favourite among our government officers, be it Muslim or non-Muslim as well. It's called flip flop position. One who master this stance has the capability of flipflopping their decision faster than you can spell Oh-My-God backwards.

The result?

Latest Jalan Alor incident is a clear example of this. Other examples are:
1) Changing national anthem from original tempo, to a fast one, and back to the original one
2) Banning a Christian publication from using the word "Allah" and reversing it the next few days


I would say that it should be totally banned from the face of the earth so that we can achieve ever lasting peace. I am going to propose this to United Nations!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Run Police Run

Imagine you were walking along a street, and 2 policemen were on patrol nearby, approximately 20 feet away.
Suddenly, a guy came up to you. With a knife pointing towards you, he asked for all the valuable things in possession - wallet, watch, mobile phone, etc.
The policemen saw this with their highly trained eyes.

Question :
What happened next?

A. They made a swift move towards the robber. In a blink of an eye, the robber was pushed to the ground and was handcuffed. You were unharmed and you thanked the policemen profusely for their valiant effort.

B. They shouted towards the robber. The robber got panicky and tried to run away. The policemen grabbed him and the robber was overpowered. He was taken to the police station after that. You were unharmed and you thanked the policemen profusely for their valiant effort.

C. They shouted towards the robber. The robber made a run for his life. The policemen chased him down the alley but the robber was much faster. In the end, the robber escaped. You remained unharmed but you nevertheless thanked the policemen for their effort.

D. They shouted at the robber. The robber turned his body and with a knife in his hand, he started chasing the police. The policemen made a run of their life, clocking 9.25 seconds in a 100m dash. The situation was captured in a camera phone by a passerby and was uploaded to youtube. The video became famous and received 1 billion hits in 1 day, thus crashing youtube site. The 2 policemen became famous and received a Tan Sri-ship for the following:-

1. Becoming the fastest person on earth (The sprint record was never broken for the next 50 years)
2. Promoting Malaysia and the Royal Police of Malaysia (PDRM) to the eye of the world.
3. For being featured in a Malaysian made video which received 1 billion hit in youtube in 1 day
4. For being featured in a Malaysian made video which crashed youtube site for the first time in history, resulting in the server being inaccessible to the world for the next 48 hours
5. For changing the motto of PDRM from "Tegas, Adil dan Berhemah" (Firm, Fair and Curteous) to "Lihat, Lari dan Selamat" (See, Run and Safe)

Now, could the answer be A, B, C or D?

Any kindergarten kids could have given the correct answer.
Just like in Moral exam papers, the answer are the one with the longest string of sentences.
No present for giving the correct answer, which is D.


Parliament: Cops scared of crooks, so base closed! (updated)


KUALA LUMPUR: A police beat base in the Chow Kit area of downtown Kuala Lumpur was closed down because it was in a location that was considered unsafe, said Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar.

In a written reply to Dr Lo’ Lo’ Mohamad Ghazali (PAS-Titiwangsa), Syed Hamid said the beat base was located in a dirty area where there was a possibility of being exposed to contagious diseases.

The presence of criminals also posed a threat to the safety of police officers, he said.

Lo’ Lo’ had asked why the beat base on Jalan Haji Taib was closed considering the high number of vice-related activities in the area, as well as what kind action had been taken by the police to curb such activities.

Syed Hamid said that the police were looking for a new location to build a police beat base that would be able to give “guaranteed and continued service to the public.”

Lo’ Lo’s was the 30th question in the Order Paper and hence did not get a mention in the House during the daily one-hour Question Time. However, Dr Mohd Hatta Ramli (PAS-Kuala Krai) managed to raise it when he interjected during Azmin Ali’s (PKR-Gombak) speech during the debate on Budget 2009.

Dr Mohd Hatta said that if the police themselves felt unsafe in a beat base, then it would be even worse for the public.

“The minister has to resign if he is worried about the safety of police in that area. Maybe it would be better to put the beat base in army barracks,” he said.

Dr Mohd Hatta then managed to raise the issue again during his own debate on Budget 2009 saying that Syed Ali’s response was not rational.

“The police are there to make a place safe. If they themselves are scared and run away, then how can we hope for others to want to be there?

“It is embarassing and that is why the criminals will always be there,” he said.

Dr Mohd Hatta said if the place is dirty, then it is up to the police to organise gotong-royong activities to clean it up or if they did not want to then they should move to Putrajaya or Parliament.

“And what is this about contagious diseases on Jalan Haji Taib? The only kind of contagious diseases that are present there are sexually-transmitted ones.

“Is the minister scared that his charges will contract such diseases? That kind of thing is a matter of choice. In any case, if this is what he is worried about then we are worried that the police are not above this.”

Dr Mohd Hatta added that the police had to be brave people and that they were a different breed altogether when facing demonstrators. He said he hoped that the minister would clarify his written answer in the House as this is not the kind of police that the people want.


Thanks to Patrick for alerting this comedy script

It makes me laughed so hard after reading it.
But at the same time, I kinda feel creepy too.
I guess all the allegation (that the mob has higher authority than the police) could be true.
The country is run by mongrels after all.
Isn't it any wonder why no one show any respect to the police?
And no one give a damn to the law.

It just reinforce my thought of leaving the country. What about you?

Friday, October 17, 2008

Home Sweet Home

Interested to buy yourself a home which looks something like this?

How much would you think it will cost?

RM1 million? That is the cheapest price of a condo one can get in Golden Triangle KLCC.
Nope, the agent would have chased you out of the show room.

RM10 million perhaps?
Maybe that will buy you something, but not the apartment.

Freak!! RM 100 million? I can buy myself a super bungalow with golf course and horse ranch around it!
Price is attractive, but not for this property.

Goodness! Then how much is it?


USD 2 billion, with a capital B!

You won't be able to buy the condo even if you have the money. The whole property, or the "mansion", is owned by one super filthy rich guy named Mukesh Ambani.
Who the hell is he? Try googling it and you will notice that he is currently the 5th richest guy in the world.

Why would he want to build such a big home? Beats me.
Perhaps he has been affected by Malaysia-Boleh syndrome (trying to break records)

Currently undergoing construction work in India, and scheduled for completion end of 2008.
Originally designed to be 60 storeys high, but it was later reduced to 27 storey. You would assume that the height of the building would be lowered in tandem with the total storey, but no. The height remains the same, but the storey was lowered in order to make room for higher ceiling height.
3 floors have been allocated for garden balcony, and one floor for mini cinema, good enough for 50 person. A helipad on the top of the building.
And this whole building is for him and his family, minus his brother (you will understand why below). With some rooms spare for his staff as well.

Try to compare this house to the world's richest person, Warren Buffett's home.

That would put him to shame. For you who didn't know, this guy has been living in this house the very first house he bought in 1958.

The buying price?
Only USD30k.

Even though he has currently billions of assets, he still opt to continue staying in this house, with his beloved wife. No fancy downtown address, or super mansion on an island off the Dubai coast.

Try to compare this house with the Mukesh's super mansion and you can differentiate a wise and prudent man, with an ignorant and foolish fool.

Any idea why Warren's family relationship is still strong after all 60+ years of marriage, while Mukesh's is entangled with courtcase, with his own blood brother?

Can money buy happiness? Warren real life would have answered that well.

Monday, October 06, 2008

I Won't Be A Kettle, Nor A Pot! Never!!

After enduring 3 days of torture, being unable to walk, eat or talk properly, I seriously think The One Above would have given me a good lesson for breaking the law. (for a note, I was fallen very ill)
I have been thinking of the despicable act throughout these period as well, and the more I think of it, the more disgusted I feel towards myself. Perhaps that would explain why I was feeling nauseous last few days.

Even though it was a meagre amount, a bribe is still a bribe. The white cloth is already stained.
After all that I have been making a big fuss about our country and the corrupted politicians, I have fallen into the same path. Isn't it ironic for me to condemn all the dirty politicians, and eventually I committed the same action just like them? Me, a kettle, calling a pot black!! What difference would I make, if I commit the very sin that I looked down upon?

Enough of this, I say.
No more of this shit.
I am not going to make myself dirty and unaccountable for my action.
So, I am going to make a change. I am going to keep to my words and continue my battle against this uphill fight.

Nope, I am not going to surrender myself and get myself slapped with fine 10 times the amount. Or going to jail. I don't have much courage in this, yet.

But hell no. I am going to make a promise. A promise which I would not break.
No more bribery, be it small or large amount. Never shall in my life expose myself to this dirty act, ever again.
If I break this promise, may The One Above send the lightning strike down upon this forsaken body of mine and strike me into pieces.

Nah, I would be able to keep to this promise. I know I will.
Just like how I keep a promise not to consume anymore shark's fin. It's been 3 years since I made the promise, and I am still.
It's not that difficult.

Not difficult at all.

Friday, October 03, 2008


So, we have found ourselves a lot of naked swimmers out there.
AIG, Fannie May, Freddie Mac, Washington Mutual, Merrill Lynch and others.

What a scene it was! And to cast in USD700B to get them "covered" up, now, that's a pretty expensive swimsuit(s) i say!

Any more naked swimmers out there?

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.
-Warren Buffett

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Confession Of A Sin

Dear Lord,

Please forgive me for I have sinned. I have succumbed myself to the dark side, albeit for only a short moment of time. A sin is still a sin, no matter how small it is. Worse part is that I have committed this sin on the very great day, the day of thanksgiving and worshipping to You.

I don't know if You will condemn me to the deepest of hell for the despicable act that I committed today. I can only hope that when the judgement day comes, when You take out my heart and put it on the scale, all the goodness that I have done throughout my life will outweigh the bad, and this sin which I have commited today. And so, I can only wish that my heart will rise up against the light feather when You put it on the scale.

And I hope that I do get to see those men with "Saya Anti Rasuah" badge on that day too, and I hope their heart will pull down the scale and be cast away into deepest fiery pit, for they have played a role in me committing the sin.


Your repented and faithful servant,