Thursday, October 30, 2008

Muslim should not practise yoga.

Why?

Because yoga practioners are devionist and will stray away from their "holy" path and risk turning into a fakir, and forever condemned to hell.

That's what the "Hole-y Muslim Organization in Malaysia" said.
Upon researching the internet, I found strong evidence which concurs with the warning issued by them. The following photos will support my findings, and it will also shows the result should one indulge in such pratises regularly, especially Malaysian Muslims.

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Photo 1
A yoga pose which claimed that can elevate oneself into becoming Manasa, Hindu Snake God.
Almost 99.9999% of the people in goverment sector do this pose at least twice a week, 1 hour for each session.

The result?

Each and everyone of them are turning into snakes. You can tell this from their productivity and efficiency of work. Snake here, snake there, and snake everywhere!
For those which have attained a higher level in yoga, they have the ability to cast their magic and have you vomit blood just by talking to them.

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Photo 2
A photo depicting a devious yoga practioner imitating as a Lord Buddha.
One may argue that the stance made the practioner looks like sleeping, but actually they are in the midst of attaining the highest reward; attaining Nirvana. There were rumours that our current Prime Minister practises this everyday, and there were photos taken of him in such similar stance (sleeping Buddha stance)

The result?

Due to constant practises, our Prime Minister has managed to attained the highest level, and he is destined to heading to Nirvana by next March, by retiring in peace and finding his own solace.


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Photo 3

A yoga practioner praying and asking for blessing or forgiveness from Apollo, the Sun God.
This stance is a favourite among the politicians. One can see them in such stance whenever they are near to the Prime Minister, or a Very Very Important Person. You may even see one doing this when they have committed great sins, but you can only see them doing this in front of the Prime Minister, or a Very Very Important Person.

The result?

You can see that politicians get scots-free even after committing grave sins (inciting racial riots, pocketting bribes, C4-ing people, extra-marital affair, etc) or in reward, getting Tun-ship/TanSri-ship/Datuk-ship, bagging millions dollar of goverment contracts, etc


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Photo 4

A stance praising the Sea God, Poseidon.
It was reported that Malaysian fishermen practise this every morning before they go out to sea. They claimed that by doing this stance 1 hour each day, good luck will befall onto those who rigorlously practise this and lots of sea catch will follow suit.

The result?

Lots of money are flowing oversea, especially after the last general election. Rumours were said that billions of ringgit were transfered from Malaysia ever since then.


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Photo 5

A position which is a favourite among our government officers, be it Muslim or non-Muslim as well. It's called flip flop position. One who master this stance has the capability of flipflopping their decision faster than you can spell Oh-My-God backwards.

The result?

Latest Jalan Alor incident is a clear example of this. Other examples are:
1) Changing national anthem from original tempo, to a fast one, and back to the original one
2) Banning a Christian publication from using the word "Allah" and reversing it the next few days


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I would say that it should be totally banned from the face of the earth so that we can achieve ever lasting peace. I am going to propose this to United Nations!

6 comments:

YY Liew said...

Jln Alor is back! woohoo~~~

Anonymous said...

those fuckers never fail to amuse me, read my lips so haiiiiiiiiiii, ur god is definitely fucking pissed with you moron!!!

wyee said...

oh no, I cant believe they perceives yoga to be that way... It is getting ridiculous!!!

Big Bad Wolf said...

I wonder if Jasonboy is growing any horns on his head. He has been going for yoga classes for quite sometime.

I tried the stance in photo 1 yesterday. I feel so lazy at work today. I seriously believe what the Muslim organization said. Serious shit!

Anonymous said...

lol...amusing post. how true!

Big Bad Wolf said...

yea. More amusing and funny words coming out from the mouth of our politicians in days to come!!